Roommate Woes

Instead of writing about Mr. Smith and his dog, Jane, I will write about something that has been quite a challenge for me - my roommate. Hopefully this will not turn into a snark, so much as a reflection of lessons learned.

I am going to give some background to this first...

When I moved into my apartment there were three of us in two rooms (two of us in one, and one in her own). Over time we gained two other roommates. We got along great - some of us grew closer than others but we all enjoyed each others company.

About 3-4 weeks ago suitcases showed up in the room that I share with on other girl, R. We figured we got another roommate but no one showed up that night... or the next few nights. Now this apartment has been lived in for over a month at this point... so it was not exactly clean. When the cleaning lady showed up yelling at us for calling to complain about the mess, we realized our new roommate, K, called and complained without talking to us first. Strike 1.

She had not moved in at this point though, as she was living with her cousin. Then she told us she was going to move in on a Wednesday night. Everyone said they were going to be gone that night so I decided to forgo a networking opportunity so that she would not have to move in with no one around. She never showed. Strike 2. Then she decided to move in the next night - at 10 pm (I go to sleep then, as I have to get up at 6:25). Who decides to move in at 10 pm?

After she moved in, she turned out to be the most inconsiderate roommate I have ever had. Yes, I know I have only had two roommates and they were amazing, but still. She takes 50 minute showers, if she wakes up late and gets in the shower before you claim it, expect to be late that morning. It has happened to both me and R more than once. She answers her phone in bed and does not leave the room (I finally confronted her about that today). And she expects people to do stuff for her - dishes, waking her up, cleaning, etc.

So the point of this. I have realized I was very lucky with my roommates at school, I never really had to confront them about anything and when I did they were happy to receive feedback and did not give attitude (a concept lost on K). Also, being an RA last year, I have not had a roommate in over a year, so this has been extra hard. Finally, before K, I was living with 4 other girls without issue.

But I think the hardest thing for me has been realizing that as an RA I have had to give residents advice on roommate conflicts and it is so much easier to say "just go talk to her" or "confront her about what she is doing", than actually doing it yourself. It is hard to confront someone who does not want the feedback and has no intention of changing. At this point, I would suggest to the girl to talk to KB about a room change... but this is not college, I have to suck it up. Luckily, the amazing roommates outnumber the one.

I will definitely remember this as I give advice on roommate conflicts in the future, which I know I will have a good chance of having to do on a floor of 20-30 girls. It has been a learning experience here in DC, not only in my internship but about life in general. Yeah, it stinks right now having to live with K, but it is teaching me more about life and myself. It is better to find the good in the bad than dwelling on the problems.